jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
