We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
