remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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