best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
