this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize