the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize