u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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