I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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