Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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