maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
