office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
