dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Life is so much better after having sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
