summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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