; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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