..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
