im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just saw a hot homeless man
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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