Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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