32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
