when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize