I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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