im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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