You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
