I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
