you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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