She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
