She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize