Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
