youre lurking in front of me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sext me about skeletons
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
