I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I enjoy the company of your penis
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