So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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