just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize