You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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