the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
