The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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