I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
