do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
