did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
