it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
