she was so not down for the gang bang
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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