I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Houston, we have a squirter
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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