Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
