Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
