so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Say something about gay babies.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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