This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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