Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
