I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize