Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
