this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
