Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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