At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
