The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
