A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
