Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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