im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
