are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
