Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
