let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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